Way of Living has to match

The concept of self love is not just about really loving own self. Its about loving non living things & entities and doing activities that returns the love invested with certainty.

By loving that something else , it returns love in some form and that is taken absorbed into us, that we call self love.

Now , this is a particular way of living. This in my view also builds a character worth loving & a certain degree of self dependence. That makes you less of a liability & more of an art piece. 

That art piece becomes self loving and is able to love back too.

Anyways , opposite to this concept will be about being a confused liability that experiences failures due to always needing somebody and lacking joy after they go missing , while always feeling empty especially when they look at the world in terms of character. These people are harder to guide due to their addiction to always needing a comfort to live in & repeated behaviours from childhood to live with living entity and not attempting to build a character. The direction of their life , the decisions of them & made for them looks at a very different future that makes it even harder for them to take a turn after a while.

And helping them would make them feel like a restriction imposition & feeling of discomfort due to their taste of comfort.

In such , they need to be slowly handled by a person they see as similar and can be vulnerable in front of. If that person believes one to be like this, then it is easier or else the insecurities and doubts about us, the teacher needs to be removed. 

They impose a self restricting boundary and create a class difference between upper and lower , that makes it difficult for one at the top to connect with one with the low. . . Even though the tries are many , and attempts are honest. The lower person just cannot feel worth being vulnerable to higher person and expects them to comfort them.

If in this they find an another person in front of whose they can be vulnerable, they will be easily choosing it. 

That's the risk of teaching, trying to convert entire personality. . . That is if in halfway they find someone other , then they will find it easier to be with them ... While your efforts would go in vain. The only time worth doing this is when every other factor is just amazing exceptionally , and this is the only missing key. 

However, if everything else was just so good then that would be because they had character to begin with. . .No helps needed.

It is only because of their lack of character that they are what they are today. 

And even if you change them, one never knows when the nature of them that got built at childhood strikes again. The tragedy is retrospective. Their Past can't be changed. They cannot be made conscious to help them. Their unconsciousness is for their own good. Reality is hard on them. Reality strikes when it wants to. Situation plays how it likes to. Situation and Reality are King and Queen. And what will happen when they both strikes at them , is not our job to think of if they had a choice to choose from and didn't choose to grow for their own good & our companionship.

Anyways, if they could have just enjoyed a quality direction, followed self love , built a character, then they would have been today a great personality to deal with. . . 

They would find meaning and joy in doing some things like I find meaning and joy in doing some other things. Both doesn't need to be same activities , but the concept related to self love, character building, stimulating emotion , being happy in self. That would just be enough for them that they wouldn't really "need" anybody else.

It would only feel like a bonus that how cool is that that their is another person who like doing things like i do, doing it same Together even though different in activities would match the way of living of both.

Both loves the way of how they live. And thus also loves the other person because of the way they live , which is also a part of their own.

That would make their "way of living" same and 2 people would find each other lovable.

That would make "process" enjoyable and let alone the "destination", cuz it makes sense to live with this person for the rest of this life.